New EP

Hot Dern vol. 1

Gary Bertsch

Hot Dern vol. 1 is Gary's new 6 song EP available 5/19/22.

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Hot Dern one stop:  click image

Hot Dern one stop: click image

Single

Hot Dern

Gary Bertsch

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Hot Dern

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Hot Dern: a phrase used as an interjection to express frustration, surprise, or excitement.
Coined by Albert Bertsch circa 1950. e.g: “Hot dern politicians raised prices today.”

This song is about my uncle, Albert Bertsch. Uncle Al: who had Down Syndrome. Uncle Al: who went to Ameristop and Kroger to sell raffle chances for various organizations.

Hot Dern: a phrase used as an interjection to express frustration, surprise, or excitement.
Coined by Albert Bertsch circa 1950. e.g: “Hot dern politicians raised prices today.”

This song is about my uncle, Albert Bertsch. Uncle Al: who had Down Syndrome. Uncle Al: who went to Ameristop and Kroger to sell raffle chances for various organizations. Uncle Al: who stopped smoking cigarettes because of the hot dern government raising prices. Uncle Al: who sometimes cried during movies.

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The Bear

Gary Bertsch & The Blamers

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"The Bear" is here!

album art by Ella Rinehard

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Blame Bertsch

The Blame Bertsch Band

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Blame Bertsch

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    Home

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    Half Hurt, Half Man

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    Here As Anywhere

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    Wreck on The Highway

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    I Was Really Laughing

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    Davey Boy

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    Good Finder

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    Old Friend

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    Fog Burning

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    In Between

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Lyrics

Hot Dern

 Hot dern politicians raised prices today 

Uncle Al is throwing his cigarettes away 

He’ll keep his kool aid and tv dinner tray 

Now heading out selling chances today 

Down 27 a thumb in the air 

Someone will stop, someone who cares 

Hitchin’ a ride to the Ameristop store 

‘Ol Al will set up right next to the door  

Feel lucky he asks as you walk by 

An organized table it’s easy as pie 

He will sit there for hours tracing a note 

Ticket a sellin’ before a ride home 

Upon visiting Uncle Al one night, I noticed he was sitting in the dark 

From the glow of the tv, I could tell he was watching Jurassic Park 

Now ‘ol Al wasn’t much into movies, but this one had him hooked 

Little Timmy was on the fence and electricity had him cooked 

Uncle Al was concerned for the child laying there on the ground  

As CPR was given Al leaned in closer and this is how it went down 

Back home with the box on movie night 

Salisbury steak dinner a microwave sight 

Jurassic Park is on seems like a joy 

Uncle Al cries, “Hot dern, they saved that little boy”

Left Foot Brake

Sometimes I brake, with my left foot, 

Just to keep things fresh for my old car 

Now and then I lay down, up on my rooftop 

Just to get closer to those pretty stars 

And some people wonder why 

They say...what’s wrong with this guy? 

Well even clouds need a change, and then they decide 

To open up and cry  

If it’s a challenge you’re looking for 

Just try eating yogurt with a fork 

Bring more than one string to the ball 

In case one breaks you’re ready for the call

Torture

I see you taunting me, all cute and shiny  

I don’t want to be alone, but your haunting me 

There is no escape 

I know you guessed it right, you always get it right 

I don’t want to be alone...yes you’re right 

You’re after me again, you’re itching me again 

So if you murder me I’ll come back for some more 

And if you pick me up I’ll open my back door 

And if you come creepin’ I’ll breathe you in for sure 

Until the day I die you’ll comfort me…and torture 

You want me to cover you, I don’t want to cover you 

But I don’t want to be alone, so I’ll play on through 

There is no escape 

Some say to give you up, don’t drink from that cup 

I don’t want to be alone, so I can’t give up 

You’re after me again, you’re itching me again

Stupid Again

I wanted to call you, to see you around 

To see how you’re doing, but I was wasted downtown 

I should have relented, I should have refrained 

But I was stupid again 

Last night is a blur, like this kitchen window 

Everything’s fuzzy, except the Bullit bottle 

Got caught with the Blamers, they were playing The Mend 

I was stupid again 

I know you told me never again, how about forgiveness until the end? 

Sometimes my right hand, has not a clue 

What the left is doing, it’s still under review 

My brain is a river,  it’s coming ‘round the bend 

but, I was stupid again 

I know you think I’ll screw up again, but I know my heart is bleedin’  

You probably don’t need me, swimming in your soup 

Stirring up trouble, like a fox in a coop 

But we’re so good together, let’s make amends...and I’ll try...my best to suspend...or at least relinquish….my penchant...for being stupid again

 The Bear 

Speak some more love today 

Speak some more without delay 

Promise to hold my hand 

Promise you’ll make me stand 

This is how it works, we must all things bear 

No matter how it hurts, we must all things bear 

We’re seeing friends with a smile 

We’re seeing friends walk a mile 

I’ll meet you on a Saturday 

I’ll meet you in the Milky Way 

This is how it works, we must all things bear 

No matter how it hurts, we must all things bear 

Questions in our mind, we wonder all the time 

Did we call too late? 

Guess we have to learn, nothing’s gained or earned 

You can’t play the should’ve game 

Speak some more love today 

Speak some more without delay 

Promise to hold my hand 

Promise you’ll make me stand 

This is how it works, we must all things bear 

No matter how it hurts, we must all things bear

Passed You By (Revisited) 

Well I should get on down and decide which way to go 

I think I should’ve stayed, should’ve sung a note 

All the times I spent just yelling...we were afraid 

Might just make one brutal mistake 

Sorry I passed you by 

Sold you on that lie 

You know I wanted to console 

But guilt plays us so low 

I thought I could play this off alone 

But that room showed me you’ve to play things to the bone (not alone) 

Said, “Hey man, you’re living for today” 

Just might find her tricky ways delayed 

The Mend 

One good night, one goodbye 

I’ll stay the fight, I’ll ask the why 

Here and now, clean the slate 

You’re all alone, now the wait 

It’s not an end, this is the mend 

Glue that binds, will sew your tears 

Say you’ll find, confront your fears 

Pick up your head, I need to know 

Those memories, were they a show

It's not an end, it's not an end, it's not an end

because...this is the mend (live ending)

Don’t Leave a Light On 

We walk in a sadness, we walk in a blindness 

We walk when we don’t have to leave 

And now something’s coming got me in a binding 

So don’t leave a light on for me 

Out on the streets with no names calling 

Out on the streets I believe 

This tie that binds us will hopefully find us 

But don’t leave a light on for me 

Don’t Leave a Light On 

Don’t leave a light on, don’t leave a light on 

Don’t leave a light on for me 

I’m sad and I’m lonely, but don’t worry honey 

And don’t leave a light on for me 

I’ll figure this out, I’ll work on this ending 

I’ll figure it out, trust in me 

Oh give me some time, Oh give me your love 

But don’t leave a light on for me

Mountain Air

Mountain air is calling me back home

Run run, did I kill a man?

Up in the hills fast as I can

Butler now a moniker

Thoughts of Ell, I loved her

Mountain air is calling me back home

Headed now to "Cain-tuck-ee"

River flows the Licking came to be

Shawnee know me for a gun

Simon forever on the run

Fog Burning

There’s some fog, down in the valley 

There’s some fog, down by the sea 

If I ever reach that city,  

This fog, is gonna burn down deep 

This fog, is gonna burn down deep 

Here’s an angel, she will protect me 

Here’s another, will be my guide 

If I struggle on my journey,  

These angels won’t let me die 

These angels, won’t let me die 

Please tell my wife, that I love her 

Please tell my kids, I love them too 

But this journey I must go after 

Until I find, what’s coming due 

Until I find, what’s coming due 

Now I’m walking, with some courage 

and my feet are staying true 

but my legs, they are a hurting 

I know my heart, will follow through 

I know my heart, will follow through 

Upon this hill, that city is shining 

Upon this hill, all is so bright 

But my nerves, they are a tightening 

I just pray, I’m doing right 

I just pray, I’m doing right

Half Hurt, Half Man

I have words for you words you would not choose 

To hear, may fear, so near but the truth sticks in your heart 

You might not show the pain but you know the pain 

It’s real, you feel, the wheel and it turns and turns again 

Half hurt and half man somewhere without a plan 

Move on, so long, no wrong we feel the need to go 

All the things I can’t explain one day you’ll understand 

The past, won’t last, surpassed still I love you just the same

Here As Anywhere

The sun showed up this morning, hit my eyes and warmed my head 

My baby sighed thinking it’s all right 

Being here as anywhere, here as anywhere 

Shoes were already thinking, where are we traipsin’ ‘round this day 

One string was falling, another calling 

Saying here as anywhere, here as anywhere 

Heard the hours screaming by 

And the crickets chirp and cry 

All the rush and the hurry wondering why? 

Sitting in this chair and wanting to know everything’s all right 

A bird popped in, winked at me and grinned, 

You’re here as anywhere, here as anywhere 

Now the moon lights up my way, throws a beam down on my path 

I ask my light, is this all right? 

She said, “Here as anywhere” 

(I’ll love you anywhere)

Old Friend

There’s room at the inn, just knock on the door 

There’s a spot in the courtyard I heard before 

Come in and sit down, pull a chair if you’d like 

Or just hang and lounge, I’ll be around, I’ll be around 

Let’s meet in the shade, and talk till the end 

Let’s rest on this porch, my old friend 

Come join the soiree, it’s never too late 

The music is rolling and for you we’ll wait (for you we’ll wait) 

We’ll spin some yarns, share a tale or two 

We’ll read Tolkien like we used to do (like we used to) 

Remember, we don’t judge, remember, we hold no grudge 

Let’s meet in the shade, and talk till the end 

Let’s rest on this porch, my old friend 

Just like the birds, flapping on wind 

We’ll find our way, my old friend

 

 

Blame Bertsch album reviews

“NKU grad makes good (music) Gary Bertsch has been playing music since his college days at NKU. The Amelia High School English teacher, who has played in a number of local bands over the years, has partnered with guitarist Dan Walsh to produce “Blame Bertsch,” a new album that features the pair on guitars and vocals. The CD shows that Bertsch has learned his folk-rock lessons well. He harmonizes nicely with Walsh, who adds spicy slide licks on multiple tracks. Bertsch wrote 12 of the 13 songs on the disc, which will make its official debut at 9 p.m. Friday at Mokka, 500 Monmouth St., Newport. Bertsch and Walsh also are schedule to play the Rabbit Hash Browngrass Festival July 21 and are on the bill of the Travis Tritt show at Alexandria Fairgrounds Aug. 24 ” 

Bill Thompson - wnku.org 

“High school teacher Gary Bertsch, of Alexandria, figures he gets a fair share of blame from his students about homework and sometimes life in general, so when it came time title his band’s first album he’s blaming himself.” 

Chris Mayhew - Cincinnati.com