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  1. Hot Dern

From the recording Hot Dern

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Hot Dern

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Hot Dern: a phrase used as an interjection to express frustration, surprise, or excitement.
Coined by Albert Bertsch circa 1950.
e.g: “Hot dern politicians raised prices today.”

This song is about my uncle, Albert Bertsch, and this video features my dad, Charlie Bertsch.

Uncle Al: who had Down Syndrome
Uncle Al: who went to Ameristop and Kroger to sell raffle chances for various organizations
Uncle Al: who stopped smoking cigarettes because of the hot dern government raising prices
Uncle Al: who sometimes cried during movies

Lyrics

Hot dern politicians raised prices today
Uncle Al is throwing his cigarettes away
He’ll keep his kool aid and tv dinner tray
Now heading out selling chances today

Down 27 a thumb in the air
Someone will stop, someone who cares
Hitchin’ a ride to the Ameristop store
‘Ol Al will set up right next to the door

Hot dern politicians raised prices today
Uncle Al is throwing his cigarettes away
He’ll keep his kool aid and tv dinner tray
Now heading out selling chances today

Feel lucky he asks as you walk by
An organized table it’s easy as pie
He will sit there for hours tracing a note
Ticket a sellin’ before a ride home

Hot dern politicians raised prices today
Uncle Al is throwing his cigarettes away
He’ll keep his kool aid and tv dinner tray
Now heading out selling chances today

Upon visiting Uncle Al one night, I noticed he was sitting in the dark
From the glow of the tv, I could tell he was watching Jurassic Park
Now ‘ol Al wasn’t much into movies, but this one had him hooked
Little Timmy was on the fence and electricity had him cooked
Uncle Al was concerned for the child laying there on the ground
As CPR was given Al leaned in closer and this is how it went down

Back home with the box on movie night
Salisbury steak dinner a microwave sight
Jurassic Park is on seems like a joy
Uncle Al cries, “Hot dern, they saved that little boy”

Hot dern politicians raised prices today
Uncle Al is throwing his cigarettes away
He’ll keep his kool aid and tv dinner tray
Now heading out selling chances today